remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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