yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
