Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
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Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
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I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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