So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
