i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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