Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
