I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize