am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
