I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just found a bag of teeth...
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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