I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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