So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
