are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I have post one night stand depression
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
