pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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