So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Randomize
