i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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