is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
