Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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