This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
