That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
