i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
