Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
