he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
