I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
