can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
