She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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