I should be sponsored by Trojan
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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