Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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