That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
