Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
