your room smells of hookers.
And success
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
