I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
