i barfeds in our rink
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
