i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
