Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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