she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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