small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
It's no shave November. This is our time.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
