Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
try to milk me bitch
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