i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
