so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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