so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
