How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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