They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
