well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize