All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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