I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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