Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
