its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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