Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
