Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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