I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
