Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
