I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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