I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize