and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
