Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
