The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
