I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
